Emotional mindsets in business

This weekend, in my pursue for personal development I decided to register to a webinar run by Zoltan Veres from Refleqt about emotional mindsets in business. He talked about emotional intelligence, about balance and how to reach a fulfilling career life by using your own strengths and discovering the potential hidden behind many years of unhelpful habits and routines. I've been listening to his podcasts also and if you know Romanian I would definitely recommend them. (sorry my English speaking friends)During the webinar I've been taking notes mostly for myself but want to share some here, by enumerating the 3 main typologies with their strengths, weaknesses and tips to help improve each. 

The Employee

The Employee mindset has at its base the need for security and as humans this is an understandable requirement but brings with it inertia and a fear of change. This type of person is great at getting things done, at having deadlines and seeing them through, at keeping a steady pace. Any task will need this mindset to succeed.  The issues may arise when any small change might impact the job because the Employee profile is so averse to shifts in the environment.This is definitely something that is familiar to me, change is scary and being comfortable can be easy and safe. Nowadays there is a certain tendency to believe that you made it in your career if you're a Freelancer and work for yourself or have your own big business but if you don't have the mentality of an Employee you can't carry out the tasks to their end and achieve the results. This typology has real advantages, it is needed in most jobs and if you want to grow in your career it is important to understand how to channel these benefits and even cultivate them if they are not part of your mindset.Zoltan recommends a couple of things that should become part of a routine:

• Set deadlines, don't put off the little things, wash those dishes, answer that email tonight, finish that blog post by Monday ;)

• Finish what you started

• Build healthy habits by including them in your life little by little, give 5 minutes after a meeting to read over the notes and you will be better prepared and more aware for the next day.

• Push the limits of comfort and remember just by doing something for a weekend won't make a big difference so try and remain constant in your pursue. (your current routines have been trained for year and years so you need time to improve or remove the ones you are not happy with).

The Self-employed

The second mindset is the one of the Self-employed (or Freelancer/Expert), it seems like these are the go getters, the people who embrace risk, are motivated by their work and like to be the best. They also strive for personal development and feel the need to evolve by continuously learning.  Some of their weaknesses are the need to demonstrate their expertise by competing with others and by giving advice because they consider themselves to be better than anyone else.  Another negative side of the Self-employed typology is the constant need to observe and emphasise that others aren't doing their tasks as well as they could.Don't forget, the way we are at our jobs we bring home. There is no separation and the strengths of the Self-employed can become very stressful for others in their personal life. Constant competitivity with your partner, your child is not healthy, just like it's not healthy to bring a superiority complex into your home.  The need to develop and grow can become a nuisance when you are interested in anything and everything and expecting everyone else to be the same.This emotional typology has some great strengths, especially when trying to build a business, as this is when risk is inevitable. If this side of you is not yet developed there are some things you could do:

• Assume some risks and get out of your comfort zone - try placing yourself in contexts that you are uncomfortable in, things that might not make sense to you will open your eyes to different views and experiences and prepare you for the unexpected. It's great that you can jump out of a plane and say you faced your fears but if you can't take a critique without getting defensive or aggressive it means there are still things you can work at. Remember "A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing really grows there"

• Decide what you want to develop and do it constantly - choose an area you love and improve your knowledge and understanding of it.

• Learn from the best in your area of interest - don't stick to only one person as no one has the absolute truth about everything, do your research by checking different views on the subject of choice.

The Entrepreneur

As an emotional profile the Entrepreneur is the person who notices systems and can build future proof frameworks. They are valuable at the top of the business as they can see what things need to happen to get the results. Besides that they are the real leaders, that can understand humans and their variety of personalities and needs, and can organise them accordingly to get the best performance. Aristotle said "Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."It is about working with people, removing your own ambitions, managing your emotional baggage and guiding them to succeed. Leaders bring growth in everyones life because that's their strength to see how anything can develop into something better and inspire. Because they have this capacity they can also end up seeing people as systems and trying to micromanage them both at work and outside.  This leads to another weakness: over correcting as they can always find something to change and transform so they can tend to push people's buttons.If your lacking some of the qualities of an Entrepreneur or feel like you want to be better don't forget it's all about being emphatic and understanding people and systems:

• Nothing is black and white. Notice the details, analyse your decisions and be sure to understand what each really mean and how the tasks really work from what resources are needed, to the procedures and results we can expect. Do not choose to assume the first and most simplest conclusion is the correct one.

• Develop the people around you, encourage and raise them up. Who doesn't like to be praised or thanked for their help?!

• Appreciate the performance and the effort, accept that you need to communicate your gratitude with them even if it might seem uncomfortable or if the job hasn't yet been completed. Acknowledge that a percentage of it has been done, that effort has been put into it and that recognition is deserved by all involved.

The Conclusion

These emotional typologies are important when choosing our jobs and they are not related to the position we hold at this moment. You might be lead at work by a person with an Employee profile that is struggling to get the results because their Entrepreneur mindset hasn't been yet developed. Learning these new ways of dealing with your emotions, your environment and relationships will help you understand your emotional capacity. This might be the way to succeeding in eliminating the unhelpful behaviours and leading a more fulfilled life and career.I'm excited to be on this path :)

About friendship

Growing up I managed to make a few friends along the way, it was part of my daily life. It was normal to have someone to talk to, to laugh with, to cry with. Loyalty, love and sisterhood were part of me from a very early age. I grew up with support as a base ..and now looking back it seems easy... my life was easy (even if I probably would have never said that back then). I was lucky but never realised it until it went away for a while.Fast forward to 2018: I have been in UK for 8 years and in the last 2 there is a piece missing and I think it's connection. I have great people around me here, we have fun and I think they care but it somehow feels they speak a different friendship language, one I'm still getting used to. My base, the people I grew up with, the relations we built together are somehow different. We all played in the same mud,  crowded in our small apartments, dreaming the same dreams. There was a partnership, we were all in the same sort of situation, our personalities, values and hopes were built from the same blocks.There are many types of friends but the ones who truly make a difference are the ones you click with, the ones you will always remember and the ones you can be yourself with.

The things in common

Ok I know you might not believe me but I have a friend who reads my mind ..or I read hers ..umm who knows?! It's always been this strange bond between us from loving the exact same band for the exact same reasons and blurring it out in the same time, to knowing how to open up our souls and feeling like what we receive back in return is exactly what we were looking for. Maybe in another life we were twin souls. Did I say how lucky I am?Having a friend who knows you inside out is awesome and to get to know someone is easier when you have similar values, interests and ideas about the world. Some people grow up together, spend time together and learn to enjoy the same things and others meet later in life in that new photography meet-up and bond over their love for food and diets. I think the deep lasting friendships have to be built on a common ground.

The good the bad and the ulgy

Friends move your heart, become part of you and that bond can rarely be broken. But this is not only because you've been perfectly in tune all the time. It's also about going really dark and hating each-other for a moment and surviving it. Seeing someone in their weakest, meanest place and knowing that part of them is what builds the trust. If you've never seen the ugly parts can you truly say you know someone? If it's all flowers and rainbows can you really feel connected, when every human has some darkness/sadness in them?!Friendships can be messy: you get annoyed at something you fight, they think I'm impulsive I think they're irrational. But somehow you come back together, you know what it means to have someone real, someone who gets it, someone loyal, you know how important it is in this world to have someone to raise you up. And no matter how far you go or how little you talk that connection never really goes away.I know my friends, I don't have many but I have authentic ones, ones that keep me in check and that welcome me with open arms no matter what and for whom I would do the same in a heartbeat.

The team work

Friendship should inspire you to become better, without it being a competition. As humans, we grow, we gather knowledge and we look at this world wondering what the hell we're here for?! It's an amazing feeling to have around you people that wonder the same, that need to be pushed but also push you forward. Unfortunately sometimes circumstances change and somehow people who you thought you knew move further and further away. I had this awesome friend in University, he really got me, we clicked and me, as a Romanian girl that attaches herself to people and holds on, thought I made a new friend for life! (friendship and loyalty is my base remember?!) ..but sometimes it just doesn't work. But those 2 years were awesome!I think real friendship doesn't fade (or it shouldn't) but as any relationship you have to keep it going, you have to put the effort in asking questions or being there with answers and opinions when needed. Friendship implies balance between two people; it may seesaw sometimes if one person is in a stickier patch than the other, but both partners have to know that they can (must, even) both give and receive. It's team work!

The gratitude

I've talked about the bad things and how relationships are stronger when you go through hardship and darkness, but that's not what they are for. Friendships are for comfort, support and love. So if you have that person in your life don't forget to show your appreciation. An "Oh my God you look amazing in that picture" or "I'm so grateful to know that people like you exist" might be unusual but it's rewarding. Maybe it's because I'm growing older and I am finally understanding what is more important, or maybe it's because I've been missing some of my friends, but the people in your life are what you will remember at the end, and not the clothes you bought or your latest car. Humans are made for connection, we are social beings, we are all here to grow together and make awesome memories and maybe leave this world better than we found it.There is so much to be said about this topic! I think my version of friendship should be at the base of any important relationship, it's rare, it takes time, it's raw and exciting and full of curiosity - the family you choose.Guys you know who you are! I am proud to have you in my life; I am lucky to know people like you, my people, my team. Thank you.

2017 new year resolutions

I started thinking about my 2017 new year resolutions sitting down in a beautiful remote cottage in North Wales. It was a bit unsettling as really all I wanted to do is stay there for the next few months and not deal with the rest of the world, or plans or decisions. 

The last year I learned a lot more about myself, my weaknesses, my strengths and my wishes ..but now, here, at the start of a new year I still feel there’s so much more to learn and grow. After a little chat with my better half and more thinking I decided to categorise my resolutions by encapsulating them in a few words that would guide my journey in 2017.

Plan

Last year I might have stretched to far with my goals, trying to do too many things that require time and practice and that are spread across the entire year without having a clear vision. This year I want to focus on smaller goals and also prepare for them better with clear steps. It will be all about planning it right.

1. Cycle to Brecon Beacons from Cardiff - I will need a training plan, a date in the calendar with no rain and a room booked for the night.
2. Try yoga for at least 3 weeks - I will need to find a yoga class within easy reach
3. Run 2 5k races - Movember Run, St. Davids Run or a Colour run?!
4. 1 day of the week no meat - I think this would be easy, plus I got a great book with plant based recipes for Christmas!
5. Get grade 1 piano

Be creative

This is of course relating to photography mostly - my main interest - the thing that makes me feel alive, forget about the cold, the problems.

1. Gain money from photograph
2. Try smaller challenges to keep your creative wheel spinning (like the rainbow challenge, or taking one of my film cameras for a walk)
3. Write 25 blog posts this year
4. Shoot 2 new faces

Breath and stay positive

This year I want to learn how to take it easy, accept my flaws and love myself more. Take a deep breath an open myself to others without fear, with hope. I must admit, even if it sounds easy this will be the most challenging resolution - getting anxious only thinking about it.

1. Keep a gratitude journal - find the positive
2. Try meditating for 10 days in a row and then at least once a week - Headspace is a great way to start. 
3. Do more for charity - less receiving more giving. I am seriously considering on asking people who want to give me presents for different occasions to put some of that money to charity. (unless they want to help me buy a house :)) )
4. Join a church community - I discovered church here in UK and it's such a different vibe from what I was used to from home. It's more open and it feels more like a community. Being so far from home I want to allow myself to find a community here.

So here they are, my 2017 new year resolutions. I realise this post is longer than the one from last year but I feel like is more focused and clear. I am confident they are all achievable goals and isn't that a great start ;) ?Happy New Year! May 2017 be amazing and kind to everyone!

The photography tag

Today's post is a bit different, I discovered this Photography Tag on youtube and thought to give it a try in writing.

How did you first get into photography?

I always was fascinated by how people can transform and capture what is in front of their eyes and evoke a feeling to any viewer. When I was 14 I got a cheap film camera as a present but didn't quite understand how it all worked, I also kept borrowing my sister's point and shoot. Later, in university, was when everything started. My parents, after some convincing, decided to buy me my first DSLR camera. I didn't know which one to get so I joined a photography club in Cluj-Napoca where I met these amazing people that advised me and became my friends.

What was your first camera?

Nikon D40

My first camera was a Nikon D40. It was a decision based on budget, available options and one advice from the photography club members: "Nikon is the best!" ... just joking !! What they said was: "Get the camera brand your friends photographers have. This will allow you to borrow lenses and try different gear before investing"

Who are your photography heroes and inspirations?

Forest fairy

Oh such a difficult question. I keep listening to this great podcast: Be Inspired Photography Podcast and all the guests get asked this question: "What is your favourite photographer of all time?" I always wonder do I even have one?! .. I'm inspired by so many of them, and they don't even have to be big names .. actually if I'm honest I don't even know most of the big names (which I'm a bit embarrassed by). I will mention a few:Jessica Kobeissi - she's such a strong funny hardworking person! My vision of editing might be different from hers but I just really like what type of person she is.Lara Jade - beautiful fashion photography I wish I had her success and courage to take risksLaura Makabresku - Her style is unforgettable, and I would like to have that impact.

What does photography mean to you?

I find this also difficult to answer. When I'm behind the camera ..it's more like a feeling. And feelings are difficult to put into words. Words feel limiting so I tend to avoid questions like this. What I know is that when I am taking photos I'm like in a bubble of joy and calm, I can't feel the cold or the rain (Unless the camera is getting wet then I get a bit concerned). And another thing I noticed is that I see photo opportunities everywhere, I see framed images everywhere and I think I am more aware of what surrounds me.

How do you overcome photographers block?

Thought Selfportrait

I need some alone time, time to breath, to just lay down somewhere and think. My motivation comes also from seeing other photographers showcase their work, share their behind the scenes. I recommend creative live website as it has great workshops with great artists that can remind you why you love photography and kick your behind into gear.Besides that I get inspired by other images, browsing through Instagram, seeing beautiful photos, or any type of art can spark an idea.

Tips for noob photographers?

• Go out and shoot, anything, everything, decide which gives you more pleasure, what do you have an eye for.

• Read the camera manual and understand camera manual settings.

• Always shoot raw

• Copy images to learn techniques but don't claim them as your own, or at least link to the original artist.

• Ask questions

If you had to shoot just one genre, what would that be?

Fashion Portrait

Oh such a difficult choice .. I will have to say people, beauty portraits, fashion photography. But it's also quite a difficult type of photography to shoot for due to my nervousness around new people. I am aware of it and push myself .. it gets better every time. Repetition teaches your body and mind how to succeed.

Any photography pet hates?

• Too much retouching - you know when you are just slide the saturation or contrast too much?! Or think that blurring and removing all skin texture and all shadows will make a portrait look better? That!

• Copying - I just don't like people copying someone else is work. Or my work, my ideas, my words and I don't know what to do about it. It takes a lot to calm myself when things like that happen especially when someone you know is doing it.

Any photography faux pas?

Girl and the sea

I am not sure if I understand this question very well but here are some examples of what I think is photography faux pas:

• I had this amazing shoot with my beautiful aunt, on a beach but the day was quite dull and the light was not great, and I shot all of it in jpeg. This was 5 years ago and I still regret it but it taught me a valuable lesson: Raw is best!

• After a first shoot with a model I never met before, while editing the images I realised my SD card was corrupted and a lot of the images where unusable. After the initial scare I realised the thumbnails looked ok meaning a jpeg version of the file could be recovered with some command line coding magic (thanks Software engineering degree).

• When I was younger I used to edit too much, I was learning photoshop and had a crazy obsession with changing eye colours, lip colour, and backgrounds .. most of times leaving the image look very fake and unappealing.

Life thoughts

Since I was little I loved quotes and words of wisdom but I always preferred to learn things on my own. Now, when reading through life lessons and quotes, found on different articles, I feel a small nudge at my heart considering how right they were.

Don't buy the things you don't need

While growing up we didn't have a lot of money, a lot of choice, a lot of toys. We did have a lot of other things though: a lot of love, and fun, and friends, and sunny days.Since growing old and moving to UK many things changed, I might even say things turned around. There is so much choice here ('Should I get that or that?', 'What if that is better', 'I must have it!') and there is so much being produced. Everyone wants to be on top with the latest trends, latest technology, and we're so busy with making choices renewing the things we own that we forget to make time for the old things we used to love as kids.How do we break out of that? It's not only about us .. but about the whole world. Buy something that lasts, you will have to repurchase less. Buy eco and local, it will grow the businesses around you, keep people employed. Respect the work others do, it's easy to get the affordable things, but remember these come from someone's work.

Don't let your past ruin your future

Many times we hold on to experiences in the past, things we wished we would have done differently, things we wished didn't happen to us. It's interesting how we remember the difficult/sad times more than we remember the good. What are you doing now? How is your day? Did you smiled today? Did someone smiled at you? Embrace the little things, leave in the present, let go of the things that hold you down. Day dream about your dreams. Make a list of what you're grateful for and what you love doing and see how you can do more of it.

Don't compare your life to others

Since the internet, and especially since social media everyone is in everyone's business. I know what they do, they know what I do, it's all out there for everyone to see! It's inevitable to admire(or be jealous) of what others have and want it without considering what surrounds us, without thinking that we don't see the real picture (overlooking our life and romanticising other's).We're all connected now ... but in the same time we're all hiding who we really are behind a mask of optimism, happy images, pretty clothes and amazing activities. Because most of the times we're scared to share what is really behind this mask - ourselves.Don't be scared, we all cry and feel down once in a while, we are all scared of something, we all have a bad hair day. It's ok - the image we portray doesn't represent the person we are. You have to get to know us.. we have to let ourself get known.

Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

What I learned while dealing with anxiety, moments of depression and disappointment is that it always gets better (and they always repeat - but that's another story).What my dad keeps bugging me with: "Observe the moment" remember it and then observe the following. It's a life lesson you learn by observing that all these moments are changing, growing with you, and the way you react to them make a day either bad or good. So think of it this way .. would this really matter in 5 years? Doesn't life always proved to us that there are days when you smile, and when people smile at you?! Hold on, these days always come back........................................................I'm still learning and still have to listen to some of my own advice :)  

New year resolutions

Can't believe it's 2016 ..I mean, where did this 2015 go? Can we just slow down a little bit?!I'm getting old but I feel the same really it's just the knowledge that years are passing and wrinkles are threatening. I have a few things I want to achieve this year and hopefully I'll be more organised than the last one. Here are my 2016 resolutions:

1. Visit 3 new countries
2. Start a second photo project 52 (a photo session a week) - this needs to be planned in advance
3. Same as 2 but for blog posts
4. Drink more water - at least 2l/day
5. Get fit - gym at least 2 times a week - Year goal: manage to fit in boots by next winter.
6. Run 2 races for charity :)
7. Read (most likely listen to) > 40 books (bookmark best/worst bits and write short reviews/opinion/quote posts about them)
8. Shoot some new models (with the camera) - approach at least 2 new people on Model Mayhem.
9. Learn 2 more complex pieces on piano (classic + chart music)
10. Be more organised - Plan week in advance

Here's another post I enjoyed about resolutions for the start of a year:New year resolutionsAlso a quick read to help you stick to your plans for the new year:3 Reasons Resolutions Fail and How to Beat the OddsHappy new year everyone! May it be filled with amazing friendships, great opportunities and happy memories you'll never want to forget!